He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
