i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
