Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
