i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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