At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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