plz talk dirty to me
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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