She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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