11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
