I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
