remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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