All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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