Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
