Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
