its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
