Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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