mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
