I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
