I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
