I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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