guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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