Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
