Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize