Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
false alarm. still invincible.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
