please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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