i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
