did you get engaged???
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
