dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
