After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
