you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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