let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
