Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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