I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
