The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
