Kiss
Puke
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
