Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Operation Purity has been aborted
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
