I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have demons in me.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
