I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
