my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
