she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We left the knife in your bed.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
