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This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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