I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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