remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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