Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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