we're blogging at a bar
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
