Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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