Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
