And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
