$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
