tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
