doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
