i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
