I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
