Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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