Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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