Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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