I CAN MOONWALK!
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
