went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
