loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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